I barely have enough time to do anything these dayz. My professors suck fucking ass and they wanna make my already tragic, shitty life that much harder.
It's so fucking frustrating.

Emily's out there living life and having a gud times working and making $$. Gooooodddd I forgot how much I miss her rn.
I went thru a period of like,,, hating her last month but now I just miss her. She's the only actual person who understands me anymore.
She gets it. All of it. I don't even know why I was so mad at her tbh.
She was all I had for like 7 years lolz. Basically the eric to my dylan, except we never planned mass murder lmfao. I'm fucking sad, she's fucking angry.

I'm seein her on Thursday tho, even tho it's been a month.
I genuinely don't need people. I don't like them.
But there are indeed a few that I appreciate. Emily's definitely one of them. Can stay mad at her for long.

OK the need to dye my hair white rn is so overwhelming….
Also the amount of emotion I'm having on the eve of the 22nd. I've felt off since April 15 cause I'm just feeling so much.
It's something strange that's around in here.

Alls Imma do tonight is watch Columbine docus it seems. I just feel this empty sadness.
I know it’s related to the anniversary. All those people.
I’m listening to Something I Can Never Have and it just...hits different right now.

I only have 3 weeks of skool left and I’m not even excited for the summer. I just feel so numb to everything right now.
At least classes are in person next sem lol. I might actually get to finish off my major.
One can only hope.

you make this all go away. you make this all go away. i'm down to just one thing, and i'm starting to scare myself. you make this all go away. you make it all go away. i just want something i can never have. i just want something i can never have.