I’m really tired these days. It’s not really physical exhaustion...just I’m not...feeling like anything. I just want to sit and stare at my wall.
No tv shows (OK maybe my hero and tfatws, BUT HEY), no books. No music. Idk. I just finished my first art piece in like 3 months yesterday.
That was a trip. Felt good to get back into something that I love.
I’m watching Suicide Room rn. I can’t really watch movies with subs but eh lol I’ll manage.
I’ve been feeling weird for the past few weeks. I’ve had to research this woman for my job. She was a drug addict. She died in prison because of an infection.
She was like 15 years older than me. Idk. Her story makes me feel a lot of things. I feel sorry for how she died.
She seemed genuinely like a good person. Other times I’m jealous of her. She died in 2k19. B4 all this bullshit.
God I wish that was me. I never knew this lady. She never knew me. But, in the same way that I feel super close to Sol and Dylan and Jeffrey, I feel close to her.
My mom thinks I’m too soft. Thinks I feel too much empathy. We know that’s not true tho lol. I just feel them super close to me. I’m not a drug addict.
But I suppose eating disorders are addictions?? Idk I hear her talking about her addiction and I relate to everything she says.
Maybe I’m just a fuckin weirdo lol. I don’t know.
I’ve had a bad day today lollll. Cried 4 most of da day. I had a really bad test today. I kno I won’t finish with a 4.0 this semester.
That makes me mad cause I’ve maintained it for two years. Whatevs. I watched TFATWS for the 2nd time 2day.
Bucky is one of my comfort characters tbh. I always watch CA:TWS when I’m sad. Lolllll. I’m tired now.
Trying to keep myself from dropping out of skool takes a LOT of energy.